The Lord--Pondering

One liner (mostly) updates...

* I miss SDR terribly. I will always expect a phone call or email from her.

* SDR would've enjoyed how I told someone off via email, subject "Penny for your thoughts..." where I included screen grabs pointing out all their lies and manipulations and the topper? I paypaled them a penny. They had no shame and kept it.

* I use to have a side yard with grass, surrounded by very large trees. Now I have an apocalyptic scene of utter destruction. I hate it. Yes I have pix.

* Saw the Goodyear blimp. Did my soul some good. Yes I have pix & vids.

* Having to switch to a semi-new computer (2016). I don't like it, it bit me. Took a good chunk of skin out & which got infected. Hate that PC, never liked it, dunno why. SDR would be able to help with that. Cannot turn this one off, 16 year old one. No way that semi-new one will last that long, it'll be lucky to last 16 months.

* Maybe if it rains this week, I'll get the new one set up on the desk, have to clear it first. Can finally use the 32" monitor I got a few years back (still new in box, but I got at a good price & knew some day I'd have a computer that could use it) & I just got a sound bar w/ subwoofer for it.

* Asshat in Best Buy "Who would use a sound bar with a PC?" HI! My name is Who! DAFUQ? I like good quality sound.

* Dunno if I mentioned I have a new roof. Raccoons already fucked with it.

* Have lots of things to get done inside my house & keep getting injuries or depressive malaise.

* I think I'll be depressed for um, who knows how long, so I need to be able to work thru the malaise & get shit done.

* My internet line got taken out & I survived 2 days with no internets. Well I have unlimited data on my phone, but that's not the PC! As a friend told me "We're Gen X, we grew up without tech." But but but, I've been online every day for almost 30 years! Over 1/2 my life dammit!! It's not like I have a TV. Well, um, I do, I just don't use it, hasn't been on in years.

* I probably definitely need to blog more. Think it would help my mental health.
  • Current Music
    Nina Simone--Mississippi Goddam

RIP Senior Detective Rice

My dear good friend known as Senior Detective Rice passed away recently with this song playing in the background.

It wasn't coronavirus related. She was being very vigilant about that and hadn't really gone anywhere. Neighbors were doing her shopping. She called me the day before she went to the ER. Just her arthritis was bugging her that day, as far as she would say. She passed 6 days later with her 2 kids in the room, so definitely nothing coronavirus related since they were allowed in.

I'll maintain her enigma status, as she liked that. She also loved dogs, chocolate, more chocolate, politics, debates, sleuthing online, and was an overall amazing friend.

I know she'd be mad as hell about passing right now for several reasons, one was the upcoming election and the other I'll keep private. So FOR YOU SDR, I will re-register to vote and it is ONLY for you and no other reason. Yes, I will vote how you would have.

There's going to be a memorial service sometime in July. She had wanted to be cremated anyway.

In her honor I will partake of chocolate, and more chocolate, in a day or two. I will also get a rubber duck picture for my bathroom when it's remodeled (she liked ducks and really enjoyed seeing that huge rubber duck a few years ago).

And I probably shouldn't have typed this with tears streaming down my face. I called Eddie, because he was friends with her too. I had to repeat it a couple times and it wasn't because of his music & tv blasting, he just couldn't comprehend. Then "FUCK" "DAMN" "Really?" Unfortunately yes. Then I couldn't really talk, nor could he. Reminded me of the day Prince passed. She was the first to phone me minutes after it was announced, and I answered, crying, and she said "You obviously know, I wanted to make sure you knew and I know you can't really talk now." I said I really couldn't. She did ask if I was in a store, and fortunately not. She didn't want me to be out somewhere and hear that news, cuz she knew how much Prince impacted my life. She was incredibly considerate.

SDR and I always planned to go to Serpent Mound together. It's in Southern Ohio. I WILL make that trip Rice!!

There will be countless times I'll hear your voice saying certain things at certain times "Edward is your special burden to bare" (regarding the computer questions), or times I'll just know what you'd be thinking of a situation. Then there will be times when I'll want to call you, and we'd end up talking for hours, almost every time. But we can't do that anymore now.

Hopefully you're with your granddog Jez and are both free of all pain, stress, and fuckery of this world.

I hope you knew I much I loved and appreciated you, and always will. You were a true friend.
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed
  • Tags
me default

50 years ago today...

...all May 4th events have been canceled due to the virus. I am planning to go to campus anyway, as I am sure there'll be others there when they ring the bell at 12:24pm.

Prince Symbol


I still just can't with his death, like, I literally can't think or talk about it without starting to cry. Pathetic, yes. However, when one isn't raised with 'parents' you get raised by music, tv, and books. I got a lot of schooling from Prince, and no, not all sexual ;) He interwove a lot of spirituality into his music.

My favorite Prince album, if I HAD to pick just one. "No child is bad from the beginning, they only imitate their atmosphere."

A snippet from DMSR is my alarm "Are you ready? Everybody everybody, oooo alright, dance music sex romance".

If I had to pick ONE Prince song as my favorite, it'd be The Ballad of Dorothy Parker from this album. There's just something about that song.


Phone call with Edward...with a surprising ending

if you have a laptop or PC and have a bookmark bar how often does it just disappear on you? i mean, just poof, gone? probably never, unless switching browsers or you're messing around in settings...somehow some way this is a VERY common occurrence for edward who will admit to doing nothing...."it just was gone" we get to today...

since there's really no point, aside from letting the dogs out, i got out of bed at 10:30...saw a missed call from eddie at 10:10 but no VM...i let dogs out, feed cats, get coffee in me and figure i'll call him back after 2nd cup of coffee....i had JUST finished my 1st cup of coffee and grinch ring tone of doom...

did you get my call from earlier?
i didn't get up til 10:30 and wanted to finish my coffee, i am about to start my second cup
are you going anywhere today?
no, why?
my computer is fucked up
it was worse, but i got the bottom bar back, but the bookmarks are gone again
how do you keep doing that?
i didn't do anything, it was just gone
you did something
maybe something updated
how do i get it back?
well you probably got rid of this too, but do you have file, edit, view up in the left corner?
no, were they there?
yes, i put them there the LAST TIME you did this a couple months ago
it's gone
hit the ALT button
did you hit it?
do you have options in the upper left?
go to view, then toolbars, then menu
view, toolbars, menu
okay, is that stuff still there?
go to view, then toolbars, then bookmarks
view, toolbars, bookmarks TIA!
WHAT?! [seriously fearing wtf now]
Oh wow, that's a pleasant change and a surprise ending

This'll repeat in a view months...who am I kidding, next month....
paul lynde


This has given me life! Right to their faces "I don't care". More people need that attitude and tell the truth!

Bukowski quote

Every day...

...I play a sad game called in the future when all's well.

I think I'm gonna get that tattooed on my arm. Yeah, I've spent the last several months becoming quite the Morrissey fan in a lyrically relatable way. I'd probably say other times that's a cry for help; but at this point, it's a companion to horrible depression. So instead of trying to cheer myself up, I'm just for once fully embracing it and seeing where it takes me. People shouldn't always be autobots on 'happy worker bee' mode and should be able to FEEL.

So, um, an experiment?
  • Current Music
    Morrissey--Life is a Pigsty

RIP Oreo


Oreo only liked profile shots. Every time I'd try to take a pix of him straight on, he'd turn to the side. Okay, fine, we'll only do profile shots. This, obviously, was taken at a previous vet visit. He was diagnosed with kidney failure 3 weeks ago and was doing good until the past couple days and then today just, well, he just deteriorated quickly. So he's with his brothers and half-sister who previously passed, Minnow, Chocolate, and Mabuse, and his other kitty friends.

I got Oreo when Tammy and family moved to California, in 2008 I believe.

Oreo had the most beautiful eyes and was extremely mellow. I don't ever recall him getting in a tiff with the other cats about anything. He just inhibited his own little world and got along with everyone, cats and dogs.

I'm usually pretty composed when these 'not going to end well' vet visits occur, but when the tech walked out to the car with me as they were carrying the carrier and I was carrying Oreo (is there anything worse than leaving the vet with an empty carrier?) and I put him in the passenger seat (they have appropriate at home burial I can't recall what they're called biodegradable containers), and yeah, I had to sit in the car in the parking lot for a bit til I stopped crying enough to drive home.

Oreo was 14 and he seemed content with his life until recently. He left painlessly and with love. All things must pass.


RIP Minnow

Minnow passed away yesterday. He had a sudden illness and there was nothing to do except ensure he went peacefully and painlessly. Minnow is by his buddy Mortimore now. His sister Melon is definitely missing him today.

These pics are from a prior vet visit. Minnow had anxiety issues and didn't like his photo taken, even at home. When he was at the vet, he liked to be covered with a calming towel, because then he wasn't there. He was a very handsome good boy.



2 BLIMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do we have here???

Oh just THREE BLIMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They brought Wingfoot Three out of the hangar this morning. No triplet flying yet. But this was still a glorious, and historic sight. There's never been 3 such model blimps together before in the USA until today! I was getting ready to leave about 9:15 and my regular hood kid started calling for me. I took her with me. We had a field trip a week or so ago, all 5 of 'em. Will post, um, sometime, cuz I gotta do a few things then hood kids are waiting for me.