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Land of Misfit Toys Police Reports

Believe or not, I'm posting these BEFORE I post photos of TWO BLIMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flying together! I got 90 minutes sleep last night, not consecutive, so I don't want to fiddle with photo upload issues cuz 'roid rage is REAL! Probably due to lack of sleep. A month too soon for kenalog--yes a steroid that buggers my sleep a bit but NOTHING like the pills I was prescribed--not a pred pack either, higher dosage than that! FUCK! Oh yes, yes I shall keep taking them cuz one, allergies boom, gone and two, it might help with the tonsil stone playing hide and go fuck yourself.

Now for one funny, yet sad, police report and one somewhat disturbing, yet reassuring that people will not go down without a fight, one!

This one happened July 30 and no, no I was NOT aware of it until the other day when I was doing a timeline for an assistant prosecutor for a court case that if it's not settled I'll be testifying in---Eddie too. I haven't written about Carrot Head yet, and shan't until aforementioned court case, just in case, so I'll just say he was the 'new' landlord of Wendy's and pretty much forced her out. Oh, side note, new tenants [Carrot Head evicted a month or so ago by REAL owner] had pest control out today cuz gosh, nothing was ever done about the rats. RATZILLA!!!! I did obviously see the broken windows in the attic and heard about this, but not all these details--one detail they leave out, she was peeing on the porch roof after she broke out the windows.

Okay, commencing police report transcribing. I shall not name her. This is a public record and if you live around here you know what house I'm talking about. It was far enough from me there was no chance I'd wake up. Eddie had his window AC in so heard naught. This is funny, and yet sad as obviously they have an addiction/mental health issue. Commencing transcription now, as I'll cut a few things I don't think should be published--though it is a public record:

Occured from 7/30/2017 02:34
Synopsis/How committed: subject was at risk of harming herself because she was upset
Hair length: long
Hair style: messy
Complexion: dirty
Teeth: rotten
Speech: Loud
Drug usage: Suspected drug user
Alcohol usage: Suspected alcohol user

Officer Narrative:

Officers responded to the above location reference a female on her roof breaking windows and screaming. When officers arrived on scene (med 7 already staged down the street), we observed all the upstairs windows smashed out. Inside ... we heard [name redacted by me] screaming. [She] was yelling, "Fuck you! I hate you!, and other vulgar language. When we tried talking to [her]from the backyard, she was stating that she was mad at Tim McGraw, and Faith Hill. We observed [her] tie a shirt around her neck, in attempt to choke herself. [She] then threw herself at the east side window, while yelling at officers.

At that time we entered the residence, we located [her] (still screaming) at the top of the stairs. We told [her] to come down stairs with us, so we could get her help. [She] complied, but was still upset and cursing at officers.

We transported [her] to Akron City Hospital ... . While being transported to the hospital [she] said she was going to "blow her brains out", and repeatedly smashed her head against our cruiser cage.

/End transcription

Okay, it's funny about Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. I mean, DAFUQ?!?! The rest is just sad. She never returned to the land of misfit toys and I hope she got the help she needed.

Onto the NEXT one. This happened October 5, 12:25am to 12:39am. Around the corner. I won't give the address, nor name the victim. If you live around here and haven't heard about this contact me or if you see Eddie ask him, as he's the one who first told me about it. He didn't hear/see anything, he was talking to someone related to the victim.

I'll transcribe the officer narrative, of course extracting the victim's name, but again, this is a public record. Transcription commencing now:

Officer narrative:

Officers were dispatched to the above location reference a fight with weapons. On scene, officers spoke with the victim [name redacted by me]. He stated that he was robbed at gun point. [He] stated that he pulled his vehicle into the driveway of his home. He stated that he was playing on his phone inside his vehicle. [He] stated three unknown black suspects walked up to the driver side door. [He] stated that a tall, skinny young black male had a large hand gun in his hand and demanded he get out of his vehicle. [He] stated that he got out of the vehicle and quickly grabbed the gun out of the suspects hand. [GO DUDE GO!!!!!!] [He] stated that he pointed the gun at the suspects and yelled at them to leave him alone. He stated that the suspects began yelling at him and walked toward him. [He] stated that he ran into his home. He stated that the suspects attempted to take his vehicle, but were unable to because it is a manual drive vehicle. He then stated the unknown suspects took off running west bound.

While on scene officers recovered two firearms. One of the firearms used was a green and black air soft hand gun. The other gun recovered was a large silver BB gun revolver. This was the weapon in the hand of the suspect at the time of the incident. [He] stated that while the suspects were inside his vehicle, one of them took his wallet.

/end transcription

There are BB guns that look like real guns AND the victim's driveway is pitch black. They wouldn't have been able to tell. But FUCK YEAH!!! GRAB THAT GUN!!! Oh yeah, people will say don't do that, but if someone has a gun the odds are good you'll get shot. GO.OUT.FIGHTING!!! And how frustrating, and funny, is it that they couldn't steal the car cuz none of those mofos could drive stick?!?! HAH! So if you live around here, after dark, BE CAREFUL!!!

If it wasn't cloudy and I could have seen the full moon I was gonna walk up to Columbia the other night. I was gonna take a golf club with me. Never underestimate the power of a titanium golf club!! And I'll be damned I live in fear in the land of misfit toys!!!

Land of Misfit Toys motto....take it away Tyler!!!


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