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Imperilled Technology

From a couple Saturdays ago, it was nice out, the 3 day weekend. I had done some yard work, was sitting up front on the steps, Grinch ring tone of doom [I really need to remix the Grinch theme with doomsday music sometime]:

[I always answer the phone with yeah, I answered phones for years at jobs, so now it's just yeah?] Yeah?
When you're on my computer can you see what I've just looked at?
Wait, what?
When you get on my computer can you see what I've just looked at?
I haven't touched that piece of shit for months!! What are you talking about?
I want to attach my resume to a job application with the job center from home.
And that correlates to what you asked HOW? Dude, my head is starting to hurt.
When you check my email can you see what I was doing on my computer?
Okay, computer means JUST THAT. Getting into your email from my house is a totally different thing.
But can you see what I did on my computer when you get in my email?
NO! I can only see your email. What have you done??
I want to attach my resume that's in my yahoo email from home but I don't want them to see what I do on my computer.
No, they can't see it, unless they call you and you're dumb enough to give them remote access.
I did that once.
I KNOW YOU DID! [I think I blogged about that, of ALL the times he should have phoned me, that would've been the one. They claimed they were from HP, his computer had 38K viruses and he needed to give them remote access. HE DID. ::headdesk::]
My resume got deleted from yahoo mail.
WHY?
I did it by mistake.
Did you empty the trash in email?
No.
Then it's there, find it. If you want me to find it, it'll be more than 50 cents due to the principal that you should know better.
So when I find it, how do I attach it to the application cuz at the job center it's on my desktop but it's not on my desktop at home.
Do you KNOW what the desktop is?
There's a button on the side you hit that brings up the desktop.
All I wanted was to sit up here a few minutes enjoying bizarre weather after cutting down trees and I get this.
Can you find my desktop?
My sledgehammer can.
When I find my resume in yahoo I'll have you help me attach it.
NO! Just wait til Tuesday!!
I'll see if I can I find it.

We get off the phone and FFS. I got into his yahoo email, got his resume from the trash, put it back in his inbox, then phoned him back--he wasn't even home during any of this!! Telling him I put the resume back in the inbox for free and he was NOT to call me about attaching it to an application as I had done that and I wanted to prevent a further headache. He said he'd wait til Tuesday. I then, I dunno why, try to explain the difference between computer, network, and programs. I know I know. He said "it's all computer to me." Which makes it maddening for anyone who's trying to figure out what you're asking. Aw, but I'm the only one he asks computer questions. Aren't I lucky?

He should NOT have a computer!

_______________________________

Here's one from in person. Background info: I told him to get a smart phone, so he got a fucking tracfone smart phone and whereas it's android based, the settings are all different. I THOUGHT he'd go to the ATT store and get a REAL one. HAH! Why would I think such a thing? Aw, the delusions I have. It's like the tablet from hell where things are different, some android features aren't there, etc.

I was on the phone with Senior Detective Rice and he called me. I didn't answer, he left no VM, so I eventually walked over, while still on the phone with SDR, who was on speakerphone. Amongst what he wanted to tell me, he said he had finally set up his cell phone voice mail but it went to his home voicemail. I tell him that he probably set it up to forward somewhere in the VM settings on his cell phone.

Here we go:
Somewhere in the VM settings you got it to forward to your home phone.
No, I didn't do that.
Why the hell else is it going to your home VM?
Cuz the cell phone is connecting to my laptop which is connected to my home phone.
WHAT.THE.FUCK.?! Your cell phone is NOT connected to your laptop!
Yes it is, they both have google and facebook icons.
[silence on my part, then I say to SDR, "did you hear that?" and she replied "Remember when I said Edward was your cross to bare?"]
Edward: Am I right?
NO!!!! They are not connected! Your tracfone is NOT connected to your laptop!!
They have the same icons.
I just can't.
I know I'm right.
I just can't, good luck with that!

As I was walking home, SDR and I just wondered how and why the fuck...

He should NOT have a non-brand name smartphone! And actually with thinking something is connected to something else cuz they share the same icons, oh FFS. I still just can't....

WARNING!

This blog shouldn't be read by anyone! Don't say I didn't warn you!

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