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Driving day hell.....

This is from, um, 2 or 3 Saturdays ago. Last time I went down near Columbus. I can't be bothered to look on my blog to see what day I posted I drove 5 1/2 hours, but it's that day. So...I took 71 instead of 77 to 70 because 1. it saved 30 miles and I was low on gas and 2. it saved like 15 minutes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Instead of 2 hours 5 minutes it took 3 1/2!

My first sign that I wasn't in Kansas anymore was when traffic went to one lane due to construction, hey that happens, but THIS truck was in front---no other vehicles in front of it--and the speed limit was 55 but they were going 35! Took 20 minutes to go 6 miles. Part of me was getting pissed but then part of me was sort of okay, cuz if they slammed on their brakes, um? How secure were those pipes?


Then, since I left that other 4 letter state Iowa, this was the first time I had seen a military convoy. Seriously!! Almost 30 years! Would see 'em all the time in Iowa. I saw TEN DIFFERENT ONES along 71. DAFUQ?!?! I almost pulled over to check twitter to see if war had been declared or something.


So google maps told me to TURN RIGHT at this one exit and I'd be on E. Broad. I turn right, see a street sign and confirm it's E. Broad. Suppose to go 6 miles. It gets more residential whereas I should be out sort of in the boondocks. Saw the Columbus Country Club.


Continuing on, passed some beautiful homes, and oh look, I'm almost in downtown Columbus. So I pull over and call my friend and yeah, google maps fucked up, I should have turned LEFT. Had to go back down E. Broad, which STAYED E. Broad on the other side (weird) and got to watch airplanes swoop down over traffic landing at the airport. Left my house at 9:30, got there at 1pm.


Hot, humid, storms approaching. My friend and others took loads to the new place and I stayed at the old place packing stuff. I'd take occasional breaks and I went out front and someone was blasting Francis Scott Key. Then it went into a Beastie Boys songs. Alrightie then. Another time outside an elderly man was on his cell phone, speakerphone, discussing his wife having "green bowel" the past week, and no, they hadn't gone to the doctor, is "green bowel bad"? The woman he was talking to said "That doesn't sound good." I wanted to interject "DUDE!!! Unless she's just eating spinach get her ass--literally and figuratively--to the doctor!"

Being in a rather rural area, with pockets of developments, it was interesting watching one side get severe storms and then one area just be sunny as can be. I got to see where the rainbow ends too.


Driving home I took 70 to 77, cuz FUCK 71!!! Had to make a diversion to south Zanesville. Not only does Zanesville have a Rte 666, they have a Rte 555!! No, no it does not take much to amuse me.


How many people get confused here??


So if they weren't show cattle you shouldn't show caution?? Never seen anything like that before, hence pix.


Then since I was getting tired, as it had been a long hot humid back hurting day, I phoned Edward when I was about hour away from home. I passed a sign saying 50 minutes to Akron. I got to the outskirts of Canton, we were talking about the football hall of fame--which I should have been passing in about 10 minutes---and then suddenly, in 20 minutes I'm IN AKRON. I asked Eddie to look at his phone for phone call length as I didn't want to do that while driving--hey, I'll fiddle with my camera, not phone. We had been talking 25 minutes. Um??? I told him where I was, approaching the Rte 8 exit on 77 and he asked how I got there and I said I had no fucking idea. I didn't pass the football hall of fame, none of the usual things in Canton, NADA. I was driving 65mph too!

Worm hole? Black hole? Time vortex? No idea. But I was grateful to whatever it was for getting me home quicker!!!

And it continues....

I was trying to enjoy my evening cup of cocoa when I got the grinch ring tone of doom. It was an amazon question. No, no Edward still has not mastered amazon. It was also being asked while the hurricane kids were there. My throat is killing me---I don't have strep throat, I have...tonsil stones! So Edward was trying to SEARCH ON AMAZON. I had to stop what I was doing--I was doing something else aside from drinking my cocoa, find what the fuck he wanted, and since I had emailed that to him at the beginning of July, I resent that email and then sent him a new one with that link. He has a habit of 'not' receiving my emails. It's more like he doesn't see them.

Then trying to say ANYTHING is next to impossible with kids and dogs. My head didn't hurt before, it does now. FFS.

Anyway, left doctor's office--oh she enjoyed the rat killing video--stopped at Giant Eagle and crossed Rte 8 to our section of Tallmadge avenue being a new layer of hell. For reasons only known to who?, Tallmadge is a 4 lane road until you NOW come to a section between Rte 8 and North Main where it's now 3, cuz fuck us? Dunno. It's stupid as fuck and traffic was already backed up really bad tonight.

The lines hadn't been painted on when I left but had been when I returned. Went to make a left onto Robinette and the dumb fucks put a traffic cone right smack in the middle where you'd be turning onto Robinette. Had to make basically a U-turn a little further down to get onto my street. They had the cones fine for Columbia (street before me). So I parked my car and marched down and moved the fucking cone. I have the camera facing up a bit cuz neighbors were at the stop sign and I'm respecting their privacy.

Later on the roof dogs were out again and I went upstairs to get a good view of them. As I say in the video, they've been out before--even in the rain---with the window shut; so um, hey, okie doke the window was open? Don't let your dogs out on a roof like that! They have a huge back yard, fenced in. Makes zero sense. Oh wait, this is the land of misfit toys. Alrightie then.

Have a call into the vet cuz Poli's mouth is starting to droop again. She's been itching her ears, shaking her head about 4 days now, and I noticed yesterday it looked like her mouth was starting to droop a bit. It is. So her facial paralysis is coming back. NO wobbliness YET walking. Head's a little more tilted walking though. She was on that antibiotic for 3 weeks, I think she needs more. She's been off it a little over a week now. It made a WORLD of difference. So I don't think she has a tumor or anything cuz of the response to the antibiotic. I think she just needs a longer course of antibiotics. And of course they're expensive antibiotics. Cuz OF COURSE.

I need to block amazon from Edward's computer. I DID mention tonight "Remember when you asked me if you'd be approved for an amazon card if you applied?" and YES!!! He did remember that! That was a pure hell call. I need to get those phone calls with Edward more accessible.

Right now I am gonna tally contest finalists for Vintage Ads cuz I'm woefully behind, then I'm gonna chill the fuck out. And type up a 3 day notice for my tonsil stones to GTFO before I file for an eviction. DAMN, I'd rather have strep throat!!!!

Mail call!

I got this fucking fear mongering political mailer the other day about how nuclear plants are clean, safe, and essentially if you don't vote for some particular bill in Ohio you let the terrorists win. No, no mention of terrorists, but if you aren't FOR nuclear power, why you've got to be EVIL!

Hi! I'm OEvilOne!!

The dumb fucks included a returned postage paid postcard which I defaced and sent back on their dime and I sent them an email too. They have no dox on their website for their alleged claims, and I know from the news the one Ohio nuke plant isn't in good shape and FirstEnergy is trying to get hundreds of millions from us to fix it up. CLOSE IT DOWN. I really think this group is a FirstEnergy front.

My email:

I don't know how/why I got one of your mailers; but I want removed from your mailing list. I don't support nuclear energy AT ALL. You also probably spent more money on marketing than accumulating documentation to prove the statistics you toss out because you don't give info on where to find those statistics. I don't believe the jobs or money claims. I also think this is a front group for FirstEnergy to get them more support/cash for their failing nuke plants.

Nuke plants need to be SHUT DOWN. I grew up close enough to one in another state where we'd get the warning book every year and the schools had regular nuclear plant drills. That plant is being closed because it is unsafe and had been for quite some time.

Your propaganda mailer makes me want to build an alter to Centralia, as it must make your little snowflake hearts cry to know that fire is still burning. IMAGINE A NUKE DISASTER! There was one in Russia within our lifetime and they are still dealing with horrible physical issues.

Disgusted by your audacious lying glowing green colored mailer (you should have included a 3 eyed fish on it, you could have got a point for that),

Miss Tia
571 Robinette Ct
Akron, OH 44310

(Yes, I'm a registered democrat. I want off the democrat mailing lists and had thought I had succeeded.)


Yeah, I'm trying to get off all the fucking democrat mailing lists cuz I end up getting shit like that. Also, I'm still pissed at the DNC for their shenanigans and all in all the democratic party seems to have truly lost their way. ANYFEARMONGER, here's the post card I sent back.

I bet FirstEnergy HAS donated generously to her!! And I won't vote for someone who runs for their father's seat. A political seat isn't a 'legacy'. Though unfortunately it happens far too oft. Well, I'm not gonna cast a vote towards it.
Eddie calls me and tells me his neighbors have had another car vandalized. Apparently an ex-girl friend wants a DNA test? As all the car vandalism is DNA, squiggles, and DNA. This is the 3rd car she's vandalized.



When I went over to snap a few picks of this, one of the Nepalese who live at the corner (Tammy's old house) came out and was talking to me. We were staring at the car's 'paint job' and they summed it up quite well "That's just stupid." Indeed it is. We discussed the eclipse and he wondered if I had got any photos of it and no, we could see it if we squinted but no pix. They said they thought it funny when I sometimes put a tripod in the middle of the street to take photos of the full moon. Haven't done that in awhile, but yeah, I've done it. It's a good place to take a pix and then it attracts traffic!

They took off and I noticed the vacant house across from Eddie's [actually that includes a whole separate post, that house, and that will include the temporary neighbor here known as Carrot Head, who's being evicted from Wendy's former place tomorrow] the living room window was open just a smidge. Enough that someone could open it and get inside. I called the number of the management company--sign in window---to report this and also saw a window in the back had been removed. They seemed sort of 'meh' about it; so I went in and fired off a quick email to the company, the insurance adjuster [for that company, yeah that'll be in the house/carrot head post], and the APD.

Stayed in for a bit, then came back out and wandered over to Eddie's where he's assembled whom we're gonna call the 'hurricane kids' as they mostly have names of well known hurricanes. I also make it a practice to not name chirruns here, or picture them. The hurricane kids like playing with the dogs. One of them is from 4 blocks away, but if one of the other kids isn't going that way when they leave, Eddie will walk the dogs that way. He also wanted to introduce himself to their parental unit, and give them his address and phone number.

So I'm there a bit on the porch, and am getting ready to go home--3 kids and 3 dogs on a porch is way too much activity for me! When here comes a police car that stops in front of the house across from Eddie's. Damn, quick!! I had sent that email just a few hours prior!

Went over and was talking to the officer and as Eddie and I had theorized, it didn't look like kids were going in there to hang out and party, as no beer bottles, spray paint, etc was visible. The officer denoted it looked like someone could be squatting, they saw paper plates and plastic cups in a corner. We have a theory of who it could be.

The officer goes on the front porch to call the same number I did to try to get them out to board it up VERY securely, and we were discussing carrot head, and suddenly BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I started to laugh and said "Never boring around here." He agreed and went to see where it came from and what it was. Well, a juvenile thought it would be a great time to set off a firework. A very very VERY loud one. Officer was up there awhile, then came back down, called the place and it was suppose to be boarded up within 14-24 hours. I dunno if it got boarded up today or not, I know that's in the 24 hour perimeters, but it was after 4pm at this point, so I honestly would give them til tomorrow.

Officer sits in his cruiser typing up reports and carrot head is being driven to his 'til tomorrow morning' house and the car up the street it goes, with carrot head ducking in the back. Couldn't stop at the house cuz he has an active warrant. I didn't previously blog about carrot head because I didn't want to jeopardize any criminal charges he's facing. Don't think carrot head came back at all last night.

When I had the dogs out yesterday afternoon Poli was full of beans again, as she's been the past few days. Back to jumping straight up at me, charging around. Am only concerned she's itching at an ear again. Her ear is totally clean; but I'm worried about inner ear. She's been off the antibiotic a week now and was on it 3 weeks. That made a world of difference. I know before, she had been scratching her ear a lot--til she had facial paralysis. I'll just keep a close eye on her; but it's hard to get a good look at her, she's such a wiggle butt! Pan's skin is MUCH much better, with all her medications and she is feeling much better.

There's more neighborhood stuff to write about, but I am ALMOST finished with a cross stitch project, have a few things to do, have a doctor's appointment tomorrow AM (bonus schadenfreude, I think I have strep throat), and also tomorrow morning before my appointment, have to coordinate some work. THEN I'll finish my cross stitching tomorrow, wash it, have it dry, iron it, frame it Friday morning and take it to a city office to be given to the recipient. No, I won't post a photo until I know they get it. But I'll say that it's 18ct fabric and I'm using gold metallic thread. I thought 16ct and gold metallic was bad! I know, I did it to myself.

Oh today we just had the roof dogs. Yes, dogs on a roof. People put them out the 2nd floor window onto the flattish 1st floor roof, no railing, for hours at a time. They can't get back in until the window is opened. Why I have no idea cuz they have a big fenced in back yard. These are big dogs too. So yeah, walk out and the roof dogs started barking. Wait, I asked Rocky to help with something today, so we had that too. I'll get to that later, but it involves the rat situation and how the county and city departments won't work together and it seems impossible to get anyone to do anything! THEY WILL DO SOMETHING!!! If we have to start saving dead rats and send photos of the pile growing larger, dammit WE WILL DO SO!!

We might be the land of misfit toys, but we will work together to get things done, and we watch out to keep our land safe from dangerous misfits! (And as always, not everyone here is a misfit).

I have comments and emails to get to, and I foresee that happening tomorrow. Yes, for real. Well, current ones!

Typical day in the Land of Misfit Toys

Was going to write up about my Saturday (previous to this past one) but I stood up too much today and want to go lay down. So you can read about today! Just a typical day in the land of misfit toys.

So early this afternoon I went to sit on my bench and Tim came over saying there was a rat under the car. WHAT?! Hold on, let me get my proven rat killing kit: golf club and baseball bat (used at Wendy's previously and I have a lot of golf clubs, so now a designated rat one). I looked at the rat under the car and it hadn't been attacked by anything, it was very very diseased.

I think he worked thru some issues here, but ultimately it was a really diseased rat and had to go to the great cheese wheel in the sky.

Oh dear Jack Lord...

I drove 5 hours 51 minutes and 309.9 miles today. Round trip. Though on the way, I took a different route to save time and gas. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yes, I shall share the schadenfreude. Though not this evening and actually probably not til Monday. I am tired as fuck and need to get up early tomorrow.

Dunno how I'm gonna function tomorrow. I need to walk A LOT. Yes, my happy place.

Hey you anti-scientology cult members...

...screen grab THIS! Whereas I still think there's hope for a few people--when they finally realize they're in a cult--I've come to realize most are too far indoctrinated. And besides, what would they do with those spare hours they spend screen grabbing and fair gaming people they don't like?


Things on the road....again....

Back down towards Columbus yesterday. Stopped at a different rest stop. This one was before the 'Blue Star Highway' one.


This one even had a history lesson too!




A RV hauling a mini-van that was carrying a mobility scooter.


Vintage truck from 1961. They drove like it was 1961 too, going 35 in a 55 zone.


I wonder what they do for Tomato Festival. Throw tomatoes at each other? Showcase the many different ways you can cook/prepare tomatoes? I also like the 'cigarette butts are litter' sign, cuz yes, yes they are. And no area code on that sign to report littering? Sort of weird, cuz local calls require an area code now. Hmmm.....


I got the Rushing Wind Biker Church sign!!!


Now we know I have math issues due to being a Kent State grad, but I think figuring out mpg is a different kind of math hell. I had a full tank of gas when I left from there. The car gauge that tells me my mile range said I had 448 miles. The trip was 145 miles (one way). When I got home, I checked the mile range again and it said I had a range of 358 miles. Um?? My miles driven gauge shows I drove 147 miles. I'm certainly not complaining about my gas mileage but DAFUQ?!?!

Due to the house my friend is moving to not being ready until Tuesday, she got a reprieve til Wednesday to finish getting out. Suffice to say I'd have to be really really stupid to drive 4 1/2 hours round trip to go down again.

Hi, my name is really really stupid! No, I don't mind driving down there. I do need to start back home before 7:30pm though as I was tired last night. I also seem to be the only reliable person they have to help them. Several people down there had said they would help, then never materialized. Helpful hint: if you really don't want to help someone pack, then don't say you'll help them and then not show up, just say no, it's okay.

Best go start laundry and get some things done around here today.

Things on the road....

I really should be replying to an email from a friend about going to the zoo next weekend, but um, yeah, here I am. Went back down to play personal mover last Saturday. It was football hall of fame weekend in Canton and there was lots of tents and police set up around the stadium and hof. No pix cuz I don't care.

I saw this inspiring message on a mobile sign along the highway and simply had to snap a pix to share it. Yes, I can take pictures and drive on a highway. As a blimpologist it's a requirement to be able to do that.


Isn't that inspiring?! Really makes you think doesn't it?

On way home saw Route 13.


That beget the question does Route 13 bisect Route 666 at all? According to Mr. Google's maps, the answer is no. It's interesting that the bible thumpers down there haven't gotten rid of Route 666 and even Route 13. It's very much bible thumper country down there. Hard to get a decent radio station, flipping thru you hear "Jesus", "Lord God above...", "the next heavenly life", "Let us pray", and finally there's a station playing the devil's music, classic rock.

Passed a sign on the way home, no pic cuz I saw it so quickly, Rushing Wind Biker Church. Yep, real church.

When I was almost at my friend's house I stopped at a rest stop to put in eye drops and pee. Going into the women's bathroom was an older lady with 4 kids, oldest ones aged about 12/13 years boys. She told the boys to go in the women's bathroom because there might be gays in the men's bathroom. "Ma'am do you think gays are pedophiles?" "Yes I do" "Are you from Russia?" "I'm from here" "Besides the fact that 99% of pedophiles are straight, did you consider that there might be lesbians in here?" I walked away, I had to pee. I don't think she continued into the bathroom. She probably was calling the 1-800-Homophobe hot line to find out what to do.

My back STILL hurts from last week and I have a bonus rib cage dysfunction. I'd be really stupid to go help again. Hi, my name is really stupid. She has to be out tomorrow, so yes, I'm going to go help again. Last time I left my bottle with pills at home--I usually take naproxen, pain pills, muscle relaxer, valium, etc if I'm going to be gone all day, in case I need them. I NEEDED THEM!! Well the muscle relaxer and pain pills. The bottle is next to my phone and I have a note on the door "TAKE PILLS". Also will put caspian cream on my back tomorrow too.

There's other things I could write about, but I'm gonna reply to at least that one email tonight!

I'm someone's personal mover...

...that's what they called me. I helped them pack last time they moved, and I went to help pack today. It was a little over 2 hours away. I was almost to Columbus. Going back this week too. GASP! I went somewhere! By myself! I have friends! Clutch your pearls! That doesn't fit the narrative for some people. Oh whatever will you do? I suggest going to fuck yourself, or, go have a nice day. Same difference.

I don't mind ONE BIT and actually volunteered to help them. That's what friends do.

This was, um, well, the Blue Star Highway. A rest stop and might I say immaculate bathrooms and ice cold AC inside the rest stop.


When Eddie & I went to see his sister who lives in Zanesville years ago, we commented on the Route 666 sign we saw and how it was up really high on a sign post. She said they were always getting stolen. Huh, dunno why. So I was prepared to snap a pix of a Route 666 sign, but on the way there, all I saw was what I snapped on the way home. No more Route 666 signs by themselves. What a sad indictment of society. Is nothing sacred?!

Get your kicks on Route 666, just not with a heavy truck.


I'm a bit tired. Actually just my neck area and I think that was from driving. Need to change my sheets, as I didn't get that done this morning. I NEED to get a cross stitch project done by August 27. Have I even made the pattern yet? HAHAHAHA! That would be a no. I'll make the pattern tomorrow and dig out supplies. I finally figured out how I want the pattern to be, so plotting it out shouldn't be that bad. I'll post pix of final product after recipient gets it, as always.

Alright, sheets to be changed!

Limp faced crab dog & brattish dick dog

Poli has facial paralysis on her left side. Took her to the doctor yesterday as she hadn't eaten overnight. She had been drooling on her left side for almost 2 weeks but I attributed that to the heat. It's hard to get a solid look at her as she's such a wiggle butt. She's been fine the past few weeks--except for the drooling, so I just attributed it to the heat. (Yes, the dogs have fans, they have 4 fans just for them). Dr. detected no neurological damage as her pupils retracted in both eyes. Her left eye does NOT blink though, as it can't. Now I need drops for that. She can't feel 1/2 her mouth, and her left ear is floppy and won't perk up. This can be caused by an ear infection but the Dr. didn't detect one. So if she has one, it's inner ear. It can also be caused by her smacking her head into something at the right spot on her face. So she's on anti-inflammatories that would help decrease any swelling around her facial nerve and/or in her ear.

Screen grab from vid cuz she's still a wiggle butt. Image side right (her side left) her face is droopy. Even her nostril--I'm just noticing that myself now.


Called vet this AM about her gait, as it was wobbly. Doctor was sure that it was due to the anti-inflammatory loosening her up.​ I'm not sure about that, but since THAT just started today, okay, I'll play along. Looking online last night I saw boxers can be prone to this and it's usually via inner ear.

Outside today and you can see what a dick Pan is about this. Total fucking dick. Kicking dirt on BOTH of us! Brat!! Poli runs like a crab. PAN IS A BRATTISH DICK!!!!!!!! Did I mention Pan is a dick?

Going inside Poli was VERY wobbly. I attribute that to the time outside and also my ghetto patio isn't level. She went up the steps fine and has been fine in the house. Mixing her hard food with some canned food from Eddie made her gobble it right up. Dr. thought she might have bit her tongue and that's why she didn't eat Thursday overnight.

Eddie can't believe it, but Pan body slammed Poli last night off the back steps. PAN IS A BRATTISH DICK. She plots, she's devious, and she would body slam Poli! I sent Poli out first, as always, at bedtime. Pan was already pissed cuz Poli went to the vet and then Poli got food mixed with canned food. Poli eats after they come in. She usually will come in when Pan goes out OR she'll stay out with Pan. Last night she was sitting on the back porch by my push mower to come in when I let Pan out. Pan body slammed Poli and down she tumbled off the steps with the push mower. Eddie said a dog couldn't plot that out. The fuck they couldn't. Pan jumped over Poli and the mower and ran around the yard, victory lap. Poli got up on her own and came in. She looked sad Pan did that. SHE got extra treats. That also might have contributed to her being wobbly today!

Tonight I will let Poli in BEFORE Pan goes out. Foiling Pan's potential plot(s). Damn dog. Panacea is really fucking smart, I put nothing past her.

RIP Gypsy Boots

My elusive wood nymph Gypsy Boots painlessly was set free today. I rescued her from the trailer park in '03 and she was at least 2 then. She was 100% feral. At the time I rescued her, I was recovering from surgery and watching a lot of dvds from netflix, including Groucho Marx shows. I named her after Robert Bootzin more famously known as Gypsy Boots.

I don't have many photos of her. This was the quickest one I could find. She had the most beautiful green eyes.


Mortimore was her good friend from day one. She had other kitty friends who have passed away, but Mortimore is still here.

Being feral, it was basically impossible to handle her. It took JT & me 4 hours to get her in a carrier when I moved here and we were wearing heavy work gloves, goggles, and heavy work shirts. We got clawed badly. The last time she was handled was in '05 when we tried to give her worming medicine. She bit my thumb repeatedly, missing my flexor [sic?] tendon by a hair. I ended up getting emergency surgery on my thumb and had this for several weeks, and this went all the way to my elbow. I had 6 stitches in my thumb.


The past few years she hung out upstairs partaking of the canned food with the others. A few weeks ago she went down to the basement and her hidey-hole. I still, obviously, took her food, which she was eating. Until the past few days. Yesterday she was making a gagging motion, not sound, just the motion, after just a bite and her tongue was hanging out. Not panting, just tongue out. Talked to a vet tech and obviously she had a mouth issue. I got her to hiss at me and I saw a mass in there. They can be quick growing.

So this morning, with Eddie on call for back up if need be, I got her in a carrier. I explained to her last night what was happening and apologized in advance for having to traumatize her in the morning but I didn't want her to essentially starve to death and what I was doing was out of love. Yeah, I know; but I talk to my cats. It took me an hour to finally get a hold of her by the scruff, I was bare handed. She tried to bite me, she successfully scratched me, but I got her in the carrier. She was calm as could be once I got her in there.

In an exam room I opened the carrier and she let me pet her! The first time in 14 years. That made me cry more. If she hadn't let me pet her at all, I wouldn't even have petted her after her passing, as I would have respected her wishes. Yes, I know; but I think you should respect someone's or some cat's wishes if possible. She wouldn't have wanted me to pet her normally. I pet her til the doctor came in, then she hid under a bench til she was sedated.

Then she was painlessly set free, my elusive wood nymph Gypsy Boots.


Schadenfreude galaxy friend BLIMP!!!!!!!!

Comments are now LJ friends only. Yes, yes I can do that. So if you want to leave a nasty gram about me posting comments somewhere---GASP! (and no, I'm not referring to the person who's comment I unscreened, that wasn't nasty AT ALL, there's nasty ones from others I didn't unscreen cuz fuck you) you can just call 1-800-FUCK-YOU. Dunno where/what that # is, don't care. If you are capable of being courteous, then you can email me, but be forewarned, I will comment where I wish to, just as you may comment where you wish (except here cuz I'm a passive aggressive cunt). m99084me(at)gmail(dot)com And I'd like to say that whoever (dunno who or I would name them) told the person who's comment I recently unscreened a few months back I was saying nasty things about them, to fuck off. I don't think anyone could say anything bad about that person, and y'all should stop those games. They don't deserve that. Think of who you're ultimately hurting. Not me!

Bit of schadenfreude for y'all. Friday before 4th of July I got the worst case of vertigo ever. Was a vestibular migraine FROM HELL, replete with throwing up. And no, your head doesn't hurt with vestibular migraines. I would happily TRADE vestibular migraines for regular migraines--which I had in high school, so I know that ice pick thru your brain feeling. I'd take that over vertigo.

Took some trash out, and set my phone on one trash can. I didn't turn, I just kept facing forward while I put trash in the other can. Thought the phone was on the TOP of the can where the lid is flat. Oh hell no. Down it slid. Landed face up and on the blacktop driveway, not the brick street. So good, right? Oh no. Bad. Very very bad. Totally fucked. Screen was black on the bottom and some of the touch screen didn't work. FUCK! Had to go up to the ATT store, yes, with vertigo. I had vertigo for a year--the year I went back to finish my degree so I know how to drive with it, though you really shouldn't! Quickest cheapest option was a new # with the new phone. Of course they didn't have the same model, had to get the newest model galaxy. At least? with my old phone I got my pix and ringtones off it after hooking it up to the computer. Still trying to figure out some of the settings on this and of course this is bigger too. First world problems. And the next day my old phone's screen was 90% black and none of the touch screen worked.

So obviously no Newton Falls' fireworks this year. I was starting to feel better but no way could I handle that far of a drive and all the background noise. The hood had a pretty good show though. Fell asleep around midnight with loud booms still going off. Yeah, I can fall asleep with booms (and sleep thru a shooting, still pissed about that!)

Friday got a blimpologist alert the blimp was out. Side note, only they and my boss can text me on my new #, cuz I HATE TEXTING. But blimp alerts are VITALLY IMPORTANT, as is information about work. Anyone else can just email me, or call if you have the #--but few do, and few shall.

ANYBLIMP, since I was told it was out and heading west--west from the base is towards HQ and downtown. I went out and was sitting on the bench in my driveway. I'm treed in if it approaches from the south. I thought I heard it and look to the west and YES!! It was going fast so I ran down the street and snagged this between houses.


Reported back to my blimpologist and we both were saying it was thundering in our respective spots--he was at the blimp base in Suffield and I was of course in the land of misfit toys on north hill. I was watching for the blimp to perhaps come back and about 15 minutes later, over Jennings High, what do I see? Yes, obviously I was using zoom.


Since I had no idea which way they were going to go and wanted maximum blimp viewing I got on the front steps of the house one over from me--wait, is that right? Not next door, but next door to that. It's vacant and slowly rotting away, sadly. Higher up that my porch steps (which are blocked by my maple tree).

Who knows if they could see me but I was waving towards them, beckoning them over! (Hey worth a shot, right?) I've also gotten a lot better at holding the camera and waving with my other hand! :D

YEAH!!!!!! That was AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!! Ah, but the next day....went to go to Dollar General, BLIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sort of downtown. Discovered my camera battery low light was flashing, so fuck. But then I saw the blimp turn towards the land of misfit toys, ABORT DOLLAR GENERAL TRIP ABORT DOLLAR GENERAL TRIP!!!! Get back in front of my house, right when they are approaching from the west going east DIRECTLY OVER MY HOUSE!!! Cuz the batteries were dying I could only take a few pix.


One GOOD thing of only being able to take a few pix was that I got to teach some new hood kids that you always wave at the Goodyear Blimp and only to the Goodyear Blimp. They had seen me waving, so they joined in. ONLY the Goodyear Blimp!

No blimp sighting Sunday. I hadn't done it in quite awhile but I sat in the sun for about 5 hours reading a book. BLISS!!!

Happy 4th!

Seriously, can this PLEASE be our national anthem? Oh wait, it tells some truths, can't have that, eh? Truth telling is bad, right. No, wrong! Open your eyes and see what's really going on.

Captured attack!


Yes, yes, working on posts. Sort in a state of stasis at times waiting to hear from someone about when I am needed somewhere.

Stepping out perils...

...fuck it...gonna 'step out', so to speak...more like blog some things that should have been blogged about, oh, probably a year ago...


Mother nature took her meds. Not a cloud in the sky.

Which means....

Snark level cranked to 11

I sent out some missives yesterday. I'll redact my doctor's name, the name of office I now go to, and a couple employee's names. But since I am no longer with Unity Health I shall most certainly name them! And yes, I can name who I see now, I just make it a general practice to never do that.

[This one was sent to Unity regarding my medical records not arriving at my new place in a timely fashion. And my left parenthesis is broke, so I use square brackets for them, so no, when you see them it's not me doing a sotto voice to the audience, it was really in the missive. Yes, I mention I'm with Summa, but Summa is fucking huge and has dozens of offices I could possibly be at.]

Subject: Let's learn about patient record requests!

Please forward to any other appropriate entity within Unity. For some reason, not surprising, this was the only email address I could find on the website. I know icky patient contact!

To whomever, probably in the 'call center', that handles patient record requests:

Is there an ICD-10 code of naivety? Or delusions that a medical place will act in an appropriate manner? No? Well there should be, because I actually suffered from both those conditions when I requested my records from Unity, though in the back of my mind I knew it would come to this, because something so simple? Pfft!

My medical records were requested from Unity on April 7th. It is now May 22 and they are not at my new provider’s office, as far as they can tell, though they recall seeing my name on a package last week so maybe? The only thing I received was a bill from Ciox, dated May 10, on May 20 that appears to show my records will be mailed from Georgia [really?!]. That does not count as complying with the rules regarding sending medical records. Actually, this proves you did NOT comply with the 30 day rule. I was told at [new medical office] it was 30 business days; but from a state office, and from reading HIPAA itself, it’s 30 CALENDAR DAYS. Their May 10 dated invoice, which they included with my April 7 dated request, shows that 30 days were exceeded. No calculator needed for that math.So even IF my records arrived last week, that is not within 30 days, it's more than, if you needed help with the math.

I have been having to recreate my medical records with my doctor via memory, past visit summaries I kept, emails I sent friends, and blog entries. I’ve spent at least 6 hours the past couple months doing this. I bill $10/hour, should I counter bill you $60? It’s ridiculous I have no access to my health records and I have had to resort to those measures. But hey, thank Jack Lord I write about my life online, because thanks to y’all it’s the only real ‘medical record’ I have at this point!

I have no doubt that had this request been sent to Dr. [redacted]’s former office, the request would have been dealt with promptly and professionally. Unfortunately, it had to go through the ‘Unity’ office where things are done thru a prism of NEW! STREAMLINED! EFFICIENT! things such as the 'call center', which is a boondoggle for another missive [that one is next!]. I'm trying to convey that outside of the doctor's office things are not done in a patient friendly manner.

Pursuant to HIPAA there is something called Timeliness in Providing Access. “...no later than 30 calendar days from receiving the individual’s request.” My request was sent April 7th and using business days, 30 business days are up. Using calendar days, you’re woefully late and in violation of this. HIPAA also states, since you don’t seem familiar with it: “The 30 calendar days is an outer limit and covered entities are encouraged to respond as soon as possible.” [Underlining theirs, not line, it’s really that important. For some reason medical records can really help physicians care for their patients, you might not be aware of that.]

“If a covered entity is unable to provide access within 30 calendar days -- example, where the information is archived offsite and not readily accessible -- the covered entity may extend the time by no more than an additional 30 days. To extend the time, the covered entity must, within the initial 30 days, inform the individual in writing of the reasons for the delay and the date by which the covered entity will provide access. Only one extension is permitted per access request.” [Emphasis mine.] I received no notice about a delay in the processing of my records. What is your excuse for this lapse in the law? You can try the ‘we didn’t get the request’ line; but alas, I have a confirmation from my provider that it was received the day it was sent.

Regarding the nifty little bill from Ciox, let’s refer to HIPAA again and fees for copies. HIPAA does allow fees for copies, but regarding postage, it is to be charged when the individual requests that the copy be mailed. I did NOT request my records to be mailed. Why in the world would I do that? My medical records are electronic, so why print the pages and mail them? I’m all for annoying Al Gore by printing excessive paper, but in no way shape or form did/do I want my medical records going through the mail. I am a supporter of the post office; but I don’t want the risk of my records being misdelivered, lost, envelope ripped and scattered everywhere, etc. It’s 2017 and you’re MAILING THEM?!

“Further, while the Privacy Rule permits the limited fee described above, covered entities should provide individuals who request access to their information with copies of their PHI free of charge. While covered entities should forgo fees for all individuals, not charging fees for access is particularly vital in cases where the financial situation of an individual requesting access would make it difficult or impossible for the individual to afford the fee. Providing individual with access to their health information is a necessary component of delivering and paying for health care. We will continue to monitor whether the fees that are charged to individuals are creating barriers to this access, will take enforcement action where necessary, and will reassess as necessary the provisions in the Privacy Rule that permit these fees to be charged.” [Emphasis mine.] Yeah, the fee creates a barrier of access for me.

“When an individual requests access to her PHI and the covered entity intends to charge the individual the limited fee permitted by the HIPAA Privacy Rule for providing the individual with a copy of her PHI, the covered entity must inform the individual in advance of the approximate fee that may be charged for the copy.” [Their emphasis.] I received no such notice of fees.

“Since the fee a covered entity is permitted to charge will vary based on the form and format and manner of access requested or agreed to by the individual, covered entities must, at the time such details are being negotiated or arranged, inform the individual or any associated fees that may impact the form and format and manner in which the individual requests or agrees to receive copy of her PHI. The failure to provide advance notice is an unreasonable measure that may serve as a barrier to the right of access. Thus, this requirement is necessary for the right of access to operate consistent with the HIPAA Privacy Rule. Further, covered entities should post of their web sites or otherwise make available to individuals an approximate fee schedule for regular types of access requests. “ [Underlining theirs, bolding mine.] Where was this notice at? I know you don’t like to inform patients of things in a timely manner, ie: it took one year to put notices in offices that you were using a 'call center' and who knows if you’ve informed patients yet about how they need to request refills and not pharmacies--because if a pharmacy requests a refill now the request will be ignored.

“Per page fees are not permitted for paper or electronic copies of PHI maintained electronically.” I’m being billed per page and my records are electronic, though it appears y'all were extra special and converted mine to paper. Should I be flattered?

“Flat fee for electronic copies of PHI maintained electronically. A covered entity may charge individuals a flat fee for all requests for electronic copies of PHI maintained electronically, provided the fee does not exceed $6.50, inclusive of all labor, supplies, and any applicable postage.”

Is $6.50 the maximum amount that can be charged to provide individuals with a copy of their PHI? No. … An entity that chooses to calculate actual costs in these circumstances still must --as in other cases--inform the individual in advance of the approximate fee that may be charged for providing the copy requested.”

Is it coming across that, oops, we didn’t do this? Are you familiar with any of this?

I want my records, I didn’t want them mailed, and I’m financially unable to pay the bill. It’s a shame a medical place is unaware of HIPAA medical record request rules. And yes, they very well might have been received last week as paper copies, but it wasn't within the time frame, nor did I request paper records. I am one of those who cares about the principal of the matter. I am reporting the time violation to the appropriate agencies and perhaps they can impress upon you the importance of patient's access to their records. I have no doubt I am not the only one this has been done to by you.

Maybe it's just something Unity/Western Reserve does when someone transfers to Summa? Isn't that lawsuit still going on? I can see such pettiness, I mean the U.Y.S. [Up Yours Summa] acronym and then using patients as pawns. Yeah, I could see that. I can actually respect pettiness and passive aggressiveness, but NOT when it involves the health and welfare of people.

Miss Tia


Now here's the email I sent to the place that sent me a bill for my records. The company name is Ciox.

Subject: Invoice 0216324626

Hi! I got an invoice from you for my medical records. I've no doubt you're unaware of this; but my former provider, Premier Medical Partners [AKA Unity] violated HIPAA's rules regarding record requests. I was not informed of a price beforehand, they violated the time limit, and furthermore, I am financially unable to pay for my records. I do need to thank you for this bill though, as it proves without a doubt that Premier Medical violated the timeline requirement per HIPAA rules, so sincerely thanks for this evidence.

Aside from that one positive, I did NOT agree for my records to be mailed. So even if I was financially able to pay for my records, the method of transference was not one I would have selected. Electronic records are to have a $6.50 fee maximum, except in certain instances, and again, with that, one is to be notified beforehand of price. When you receive electronic records there is no 'per page' fee. I'm all for wasting resources, because every time you do Al Gore feels a pinch; but I would not want my records printed out and mailed as that is not secure.

I'm unsure what in the world a company in Georgia is doing with my medical records; but I don't like that. No sir, I don't like that one iota. I'm not phoning the number on the invoice, as I have to spend more time trying to recreate my medical records from memory, past visit summaries I had kept, emails, and blog entries. Do I send you a counter-invoice for that? Or Premier Medical Partners?

Do not contact me via phone. In addition, I will not pay this bill, even if I was financially able, as I was not made aware of charges beforehand. As far as I am concerned your company name has a superfluous 'i' in it.

Understanding why there's a class action suit against you,
Miss Tia


My other missive to Unity summing up my issues with them.

Subject: Sticks, Carrots, Fertilize My Garden Unity!

Please forward to any other appropriate entity within Unity. For some reason, not surprising, this was the only email address I could find on the website. I know icky patient contact!

To whomever, probably in the 'call center', that handles complaints/concerns, because yes, even though I will no longer go to Unity, I do have concern for others. I probably should see someone about that, as concern for others is the first sign of liberalism. GASP!! Wait, maybe I just heard that on Fox News? Yeah, that's vegetable fertilizer there. Regardless, I do have genuine concern for others.

Knowing this is an exercise in futility, I still put forth the effort to send this. I know patients are really about the last thing Unity Health considers, but perhaps some day you'll have to realize that patients should be your first priority. An important way to convey they are your priority is to communicate with them about changes, things you do, etc. In my time there Unity Health failed miserably at that. Why communicate to the patients? I mean, you know best, so patients should just shut up and accept whatever right? Even old school doctors were communicable with their patients, why the detachment now? We're still human beings. Here are 5 areas Unity Health really fails in. Then yes, I will give you a carrot after the sticks.

Call Center: Considered some 'crowning achievement', this is truly a boondoggle of a debacle. You describe what is wrong with you, why you want to be seen, then get to the doctor's office and it's either something you didn't say, or it just says 'sick'. On rare occasions it was accurate. Rare as the Cubs winning the World Series. GO CUBS!!

Sometimes you'd get someone who would say hello, how are you, first; but usually it was just a barking order for your birth date. I never felt comfortable with that 'call center' and they might have well been in India as far as I was concerned. It took Unity almost 1 whole year before notices went up in offices that calls were going to a call center instead of directly to the doctor's office. Why not tell people right away? When you get off-putting people and not realize it's a 'call center', you think the staff at your doctor's office has changed and been replaced with a bunch of soulless uncaring automatons. That was genuinely concerning until you arrived there and WHEW! The caring individuals you've come to know over the years were still there. So the soulless uncaring automatons are just at the 'call center' for now. May they some day escape into freedom and humanity!!

RX requests: I wonder if patients have been informed about the new nifty Unity rule where patients are to call in their own prescription refill requests to the 'call center'? I'm gonna gander a guess that no, no they have not, because it hasn't been a year. I learned of this the hard way, when Klein's repeatedly left messages at the 'call center' and no refill came through. I had an upcoming appointment and no, my doctor's office hadn't received a refill request, because had they, it would have been handled promptly. Got it written at the doctor's office, then contacted Unity and learned of this nifty new 'rule'. I was told that if a pharmacy calls for a refill, the 'call center' was to call the patient and ask if it should be filled. I received no calls. It was then claimed in the Unity phone logs there were no calls from Klein's requesting my refill but Klein's had records of the times they had called. I trust Klein's over Unity on this, especially when that 'call center' is involved. Had the calls gone directly to my doctor's office, I KNOW the refill request would have been handled promptly. But no, why let that happen? Make pharmacies call the 'call center', then have the 'call center' call the patient---if the 'call center' acknowledges they even received the request---to see if they wanted the refill. Make more work and waste productive time!

It happened more than once to me but I never bothered to contact Unity about the other times because I knew I couldn't stay at Unity much longer with how it was being run. Not to mention I already knew what the retort would be 'we didn't get the request', which would be a great answer to help fertilize my vegetable garden. How many times do you use that denial line? De'Nile is a river in Egypt, let's keep it that way.

Floatees: Individuals are hired as floatees that lack medical skills for their position. I had a floatee who are unable to properly take my blood pressure. How is this even possible? I honestly thought I had an adult 'make a wish' person who wanted to be a medical tech for a day. I had to put the BP cuff on myself, and even then they then couldn't take it properly. I could have done so for them, but that's not my job [and an aside, I don't have medical skill training, I played a nurse a lot in college though]. They were also unable to properly take my heart rate. Then they wanted to go over my medical history, including medications. They couldn't even pronounce 'valium' correctly, which I sure needed at that moment. I know some meds are hard to pronounce but valium? ulltram? naproxen? Apparently they had been there all week, just for one week, and it had been like that the whole time. So no one screens employees? No one ensures they can take a patient's BP if that's part of their job? For some patients their BP and heart rate is important to have accurately taken, if you weren't aware of that.

A few weeks later, I got another floatee, who thankfully could take BP but again wanted to go over my medical history. I refused saying it was done a few weeks prior. They said Unity wanted it done every visit. Now I dunno if that was true or not; but if it was true, what a waste of productive time!!

Drug testing: I know darn well this wasn't determined by my doctor's specific office and had to have come from Unity's office. When people who are prescribed controlled substances by physicians are given urine tests you should NOT LIE TO THEM, nor hold them 'hostage'. I think the lying is worst. You're held 'hostage' because you're told if you don't pee on command your prescription will be withheld for 6 months. The last time this happened to me, I was held 'hostage' for almost an hour and a half and drank so much water I was about ready to throw up. I was told, as I had been previous times, that this was a law by the Pharmacy Board. Since I was being held 'hostage' for so long and was feeling so sick from all the water, I fired off a missive to the Pharmacy Board. They replied the next day stating that they did NOT have such a law nor rule and gave me the number to the state medical board, suggesting that they might.

I called the medical board and was transferred to a nice lady there with whom I had to pull the phone away from my ear when she loudly exclaimed "THEY CAN'T DO THAT" when I explained the withholding of a RX for 6 months. But but the pharmacy board law. She picked up I was sarcastic very quickly, which is nice when people do. The lady told me there was NO LAW requiring urine testing for the prescribing of controlled substance BUT there is an Ohio Administrative Code [yes I have it, but you can find it yourself, do something productive, thanks] that states it is at the physicians' discretion and she explained why so many physicians did that. When she explained why to me, it made total sense. No, I shan't share that with you, as you might use it and I'll be damned I help you out. She also said urine tests should be done at office visits if possible, which makes sense, and prior to the last time I was held hostage I had actually peed in a cup and could have filled several. I guess that made too much sense? I told her it was always done when you came in to pick up the RX and then you were trapped, held hostage, or they'd refuse your RX for 6 months claiming it was the law.

Why do you lie to patients about this and subject them unneedlessly to this?? Lying to a patient is a breach of trust if you weren't aware of that. Inconveniencing patients and making them sick from drinking so much water isn't good for them either. Explain why you do it at the doctor's discretion and patients would understand that. Believe it or not, most patients are more than capable of understanding such things and I'll even go so far to say that most patients would appreciate being treated with respect. Lying is disrespectful. Do the test at a random office visit, what's wrong with that? I understand you can't tell them in advance, but if someone is in a lot, um?? I guess that just makes too much sense and it's more sadistically fun to lie to patients and hold them 'hostage' or deny them their medication? The lady at the medical board was just aghast about the possible denial of medication because she said some controlled substance withdrawals could cause serious medical harm. But...but...the pharmacy board! Gosh, more stuff to fertilize my vegetable garden with.

Records requests: You have 30 days to fulfill a request. 30 calendar days. If you're going to charge for copies you need to tell the person in advance. Did I mention 30 calendar days? You have 30 calendar days. It really sucks having to try to recreate your own records. I feel I should bill you for my time for that, as it was a waste of productive time. Oh wait, that's MY productive time, so yeah, the hell with that. One truly appreciates access to their medical records though when they no longer have them. And that was a separate missive where I hopefully helped you learn about record requests.

Carrot: Dr. [redacted]'s staff has always been fantastic. Very professional, yet also friendly and caring. Special shout outs for [redacted] and [redacted] there. The man who did blood work across the hall always did a fantastic job. I know Unity is linked with Western Reserve and the Western Reserve Physical Therapy at the Nat is a place I would, and will, recommend to anyone who needs physical therapy.

Unfortunately I can't recommend Unity Health. Despite how much I liked Dr. [redacted] I was ready to leave due to how the patients were considered an after thought by Unity's 'main office', not the individual doctor's offices, as I believe I can safely assume many are like Dr. [redacted] and truly care about their patients. When an entity has a failure to communicate to patients about how their appointments are made and how much access those people have to their records; ignoring RX requests--right right, never got it, uh huh, let me scoop that on my vegetable garden; refusing to state the truth of testing for patients on controlled substances and preferring to lie; hiring people who don't have basic medical skills to work with patients; and violating rules about record requests, well it makes a relationship untenable.

Maybe some day you'll realize patients should be treated with respect, honesty, and not be petty when they leave the practice with their medical record request. That's an assumption on my part. I believe it's a safe one.

You've really fertilized my vegetable garden well, so hey, thanks for that,
Miss Tia


I keep getting notices from Summa Breast center to schedule another mammogram. I sent them this.

This is for the Breast Imaging Center:

Could you please remove me from your mailing list? Also, I find your notices to be purposely misleading and worded in a manner to alarm people. Saying "Our records indicate that based on your tomosynthesis screening mamogram..." it's time to schedule another. Think about that wording. Why not say, It's almost been a year since your last one, please schedule this year's? When you say "based on" that could/would make someone automatically think something was wrong. It did me! Though I knew the results was fine.

Anyway, I will NEVER EVER have another mammogram again. Oh hell no!!! The first one I had at Akron General was absolutely painless and I had no idea why people said they were so painful. Ah, I went to Summa last year, now I know. The lady said that Akron General did them the same way, when I said my last one was painless, but I cannot imagine Akron General turning to barbarism. Why do that?

There's no way in hell I would ever do that test again. Unless you decide to stop being barbaric torturers. Yes, I'm aware of breast cancer risks and have had biological relatives die from it. Hey, we all gotta die of something. I think getting a mastectomy without anesthesia would be less painful than that mammogram I had last year. My boobs are pretty non-existent anyway, I don't care. No, I won't go to Akron General to get one either, since according to your employee last year they've become barbaric too. Why do that?

Also, you don't even mention the day before about no deodorant and there was a sign in the locker about it but it was fully covered up. I remembered it from my first one; but no one said anything. The tech didn't even ask me. Just basically strip it off, let's torture you, hey let's torture you more, more, and PLEASE come back in a year so we can do it again! Hell no!

May your boobs or testes be smashed flat in a panini maker, repeatedly,
Miss Tia

Fell on black days...RIP Chris Cornell

Bend in the Road

In a bend in the road
I’m too lost and tired
To see where I’m going
What I left behind
And I’m moving
So slow
Don’t know when I’ll arrive
So put a bend in the road
I’m growing tired
Of straight lines

I set off for the shore
And I finally slipped away
From the ones i adored
And the place i was raised
And I rode down the road
Just to watch it go by
And when and where is love?
Maybe nowhere tonight

Everyone needs a touch
Or a shoulder for crying
The say love is a crutch
I say love is blind
And that’s all that she needed
But I could not supply
When a bend in the road
Put it out of my mind

There was a strange little girl
Who was everything I ever dreamed
I could love or be loved by

So put a bridge
Or a hill
Or a forest of pines
Or a river of blue
I can run along side
I’ll sleep when it’s night
I follow all the signs
Just put a bend in the road
I’m growing tired of straight lines
Put a bend in the road
I’m growing tired of straight lines

It'd be wrong and incredible cruel to quote Pretty Noose; but yet another artist foreshadowed their death years prior in lyrics. Yes, I compile these things. I dunno if it helps me deal or what. There are a few other of his too, as with others. People lay things totally bare and no one sees anything. Until it's too late. Maybe they themselves don't even see it, just view it as art from their subconscious or something they read, saw, heard, etc.

I'm still in the WHAT?! NO! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! stage. A bit ago I mused how Layne Staley, Kurt Cobain, Scott Weiland, were all gone before their time, amongst others. Those 3 are relative today because I started listening to 'em all with Soundgarden around the the same time. Badmotorfinger was on repeat interchanged with Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, and Nirvana, for about a year. My Lincoln Street basement apartment. Hearing anything from Badmotorfinger I can smell the black cherry candles and sandalwood incense I'd burn.

I sit here in tears for yet another artist I never personally met, but affected me profoundly in my life. Badmotorfinger helped me with severe depression. Superunknown gave me hope in life. His lyrics really touched me emotionally, more so than I ever realized until today. I could relate to many of them.

Saw this first after Bowie. Still true, though there's really not much left of me to die. Listening to Badmotorfinger today has compounded things and made the knife turn a little deeper.


Some people might be successful, seem to have everything, yet still be missing something. Wealth, fame, these are not shields for depression, angst, suicide. In John Taylor's autobiography he wrote how after shows were the most depressing time for him, and the time he was most apt to abuse drugs [before he got help]. From thousands of fans singing along, enjoying themselves, to being alone in an empty hotel room. A stark contrast that might be the final straw to shatter a fragile psyche.

Fans are in grief, but one cannot imagine what his family and friends are going through, and will continue to go through. Send them peace, love, and light.

This song always seemed to play when The Loft, bar in Kent, was closing. It reminds me of good times. Cluttered table with empty pitches, glasses, and singing drunkenly along, even though the lyrics are sort of dark. "Would you cry for me?" Yes. Yes, I most certainly have and will.

Beauty, pathos, pain, hope, all encapsulated in one haunting song.

Sunshower Lyrics

Dark as roses, fine as sand
Feel your healing and your sting again
I hear you laughing and my soul is saved
On forgotten graves you cry

Crawl like ivy up my spine
Through my nerves and into my eyes
Cuts like anguish
Or recollections of better days gone by

But it's all right
When you're caught in pain
And you feel the rain come down
It's all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
It's all right
Though your garden's grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower

Eyes like oceans so far away
A feather trail to a better way
Worried mornings turn into days
Then into worried nights

But it's all right
When you're all in pain
And you feel the rain come down
Oh it's all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
Oh it's all right
Though your garden's grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
In the sweet sunshower

I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
And it's all right
All you'll be you are today
Are today
It's all right
All you'll be you are today
Are today.........

"No one sings like you anymore." Tragically true. May he have found the peace he sought.


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