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Special Hipsters in the Wild....

So schadenfreude first. My cubital tunnel is so flared up it's causing extreme pain in my shoulder blade and neck now. What did I do? I held open a book for like 10 minutes. Seriously. That did it. I tried to raise my desk chair so I would be high enough so I wouldn't have to bend my left arm AT ALL to type but oh no! The chair was like 'fuck you, I don't feel like getting high today'. So I'm sitting on 2 pressure sore cushions and a regular chair cushion to raise me up. Mostly typing with my right hand even though I'm high enough--take THAT chair!! I can circumvent you and your lack of cooperation!!

Anyway, I, of course, have lots of Glendale Cemetery photos to post but have enough sense, for once, to not do so now and cause myself more pain. I'm even taking whole muscle relaxers, as they're prescribed--I usually just take 1/2 or a 1/4--but today? WHOLE. Hasn't touched the pain. It took 3 hours before the caspian cream I slathered all over my left arm and shoulder blade even started to burn, and that's usually within 15 minutes of application. Yes, I'm going to doctor for her to laugh at me. She'll probably send me to an orthopedic person. Wendy loaned me this little Homedics quad massages and I'm gonna be getting my own probably tomorrow or Monday. I held that on my shoulder blade about 10 minutes and it really helped. About 45-60 minutes later it started hurting bad again, but hey, some relief is relief! Hmmm....an hour later. I guess it's like Chinese food?

Alright, that out of the way...I made 2 solo Glendale trips, with the aforementioned photos I need to upload and post. Yesterday was sort of chilly but they said it would get warmer and I felt like doing naught so as to rest my arm, as it was aching yesterday, so I asked Wendy if she wanted to go to Glendale for a bit. She's never been there. Off we went.

Walked around the original sections first--area by Maple---then areas around that. Then drove over to the area where my favorite tombstone is. Yes, I have a favorite tombstone. You'll have to wait til I post my photos, but Wendy couldn't believe it was a real tombstone. We started to walk that area and up by where the mourning lady grave statue is. Yes, pictures of that shall be posted. We're discussing how realistic she looks and how her pain comes through the work, when suddenly one section over, are hipsters in the wild having an artsy fartsy photo shoot. Because it's soooo edgy to have a photo shoot in a cemetery, right? We see them taking photos of a woman laying in the leaves on the ground. The leaves were wet and it was chilly, so I suppose that woman thought she was 'suffering' for her instagram modeling shoot?

Photo by Wendy and this really shows the grace and poise of the 'model'...

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Wendy then recorded a short video, that's her talking, I was about 15' away so you can barely hear me--shocking I know; but we were just talking between ourselves.



Off they strut for another location. Wow, 'angel' wings in a cemetery, that is so original. No one has ever thought of that before. Get the Pulitzer people on the phone, cuz we have a WINNAH!!!

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Wendy and I continued looking at gravestones in the section were in. We saw they had started taking photos in front of a mausoleum. I took the following photo and I think Wendy took a few too. We were ready to turn around and go to another section when Miss Cemetery Angel Instagram Hipster Model starts yelling at us.

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"That's illegal! You can't video without permission" And then the female hipster photog chimed in, "It's against the law!" Now, we had just taken pix, yes, and Wendy took the clip above when they were in the other section; but video/photo, same rule applies which we informed the special snowflake and hipster photogs of. "It's a public place and we CAN take photos and video" "No you can't you don't have permission." "Do you have permission from the Conger family to pose in front of that mausoleum? You'd need it with your mentality. It's a PUBLIC PLACE it's not against the law." "You're breaking the law." "Having visible panty lines should be against the law! You fucking hipsters!" I think that was pretty much it. They went back to shooting the cover of Akron Hipster Monthly or whatever.

Oh the VPL? Right here. Bad hipster photographer!! BAD!!

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Now, is that horrific VPL? No. But if you're gonna be 1. a hipster 2. a special snowflake 3. both 1 and 2, then any VPL is bad. I suppose 4. playing professional photographer. A Sears' portrait studio photographer has more skill than any hipster wannabe. You might be surprised to learn that I don't like hipsters. Pretentious twats. Instragram models should spend their 'modeling' time reading a book or two or three on improving their self esteem via other methods than 'likes' for photoshopped images. Special snowflakes who think the world revolves around them should have the hair dryer turned on. Oh no!!! Reality hurts!!!

Anyway, we wandered away from them and they kept their mouths shut. Drove down to look at the chapel and the mausoleums along the entry way. Was going to park in the chapel driveway---there's a -U- shaped drive in front of it, but a car was parked IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DRIVE on the U's curve. I should have taken a photo of that, plus a photo of the bumper sticker on the car that said 'SPECIAL'. Looked like a zazzle sticker, red with white big letters, SPECIAL. So I parked close to the curb, AS YOU SHOULD DO! Cuz no one could drive around the -U- cuz of this asshole. I pulled up next to their car. Well the back of it that was on the -U-.

We look at the mausoleums and Wendy liked my favorite one too. One mausoleum's chained doors were partially open. Wendy had always wanted to go in one, so she did. This is blurry, as I taking a photo of the back of her in there, but she quickly turned. She's holding a ripped off corner of a newspaper. It was on one of the urns. We looked it and saw it was from 1941. Why there was just this ripped corner of a paper from 1941 there we have no idea. But she put it back exactly where it had been.

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We look at a few more mausoleums, then start back towards the chapel. What do we see? The hipster photogs and their 'model' getting into the car that had been parked blocking the chapel drive!!! Thus explains the 'special' sticker, cuz gee, they sure are. That's their 'special' we'll park however we want sticker. Probably gets a 10% discount off farm to table small batch member berry jam too. We were cracking the fuck up when we saw it was THEM who had parked like that and they had that 'special' sticker. They were staring at us, but didn't say a word.

We were looking at the back of the chapel, trying to figure out what some of the stained glass represented. Then I said Wendy had to see a couple graves we had walked past where they basically wrote the people's life story and they had had very full lives. We walk along the side of the chapel and then up the hill and the hipsters had apparently been waiting for us!! When we started to walk up the hill, they raced out of the -U- and out of the cemetery. Awwww.....if hipsters had balls they would have drove up to us on the road we were walking on. Bless their little hearts.

If you're not Wendy and you're in one of these photos here, there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Learn the law. Oh I know, that's not a very hipster thing to do. So get some Amish handmade small batch cheese for your organic whine and type, on your non-electric typewriter natch, pages and pages of how this has wounded you to your core. You weren't recognized as the 'special' individual you are. It was probably worse than the time in 5th grade when you didn't get a participation trophy for gym class and mommy and daddy sued the school district. They still, to this day, don't understand why you didn't get one, and will cry with you. Gym class is a sport and every sport gets a participation trophy!!

Y'all know damn well that sadly there are probably people with those issues. Sort of like the one who was around here a few years ago and claimed she had PTSD because in 3rd grade her mother was 10 minutes late picking her up from after school. Did something horrible happen to her in those 10 minutes? Nope. She sat at her desk and colored pictures. THE TORTURE!!!! She was saying 25+ years later she had PTSD from THAT incident and was being totally sincere. Of course I cracked the fuck up, as I thought she was joking. I mean, dafuq?!?!

I sound like a curmudgeon. Oh wait, I usually do. Alrightie then!!

WARNING!

This blog shouldn't be read by anyone! Don't say I didn't warn you!

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